Communication Strategies for Bullying and High

By Susan Johnston

A long time ago, I sat before a Senate committee at the request of Senator Donna Nesslebush (head of the Rhode Island Coalition of Domestic Violence at the time).

The goal was to communicate that bullying/abuse has no age, no gender, no race — it affects all. It's not only those experiencing the abuse but also those who witness it and feel powerless or part of that negativity. I share this with you because of the content I am seeing lately.

The content we create, read, watch and share shapes us and our society. Think about that: Every day, you can choose which direction you want to go — joy or anger, kindness or hate, positive or negative.

So there I was, getting ready to speak before a committee that revoked funding I was trying to get back.

We all carry our life experiences to date. I still struggle with what I call unfairness. As hard as it is, I have to remember that I have a choice, and life is a journey. So, I ask myself what worked, what didn't and why in a given situation and adjust so I have a more positive, fulfilling experience moving forward.

Bearing all of this in mind, I addressed the committee from the standpoint of they most likely had heard all of the coalition's marketing before. So, I decided to address this from the perspective of "you vs. them."

• Have you had someone withhold something unless you did X? Unacceptable.

• Have you had something thrown at you? Unacceptable.

• Have you been told you are _______? Put anything negative in that blank space. Unacceptable.

Obviously, there are deeper situations I won't mention here.

The Rolling Stone Culture Council is an invitation-only community for Influencers, Innovators and Creatives. Do I qualify?

But what this means is that you should look at a situation from the perspective of the person/people you are trying to communicate with. Understand that their choices are based on their experiences to date — and most are probably different than yours. Most importantly, be accountable for the choices you make. How we respond to something says a lot about where we are now.

I searched online and did not find a clear one sheet overview of how to deal with these situations, which is usually a good first step. So, I read and listened to experts and unpacked the best strategies so you don't have to. Here are the top six phrases to keep in mind when trying to communicate in a high-pressure or bullying situation:

• Listen rather than try to fix everything.

• Assume positive intent.

• I am safe.

• Distance yourself.

• Pause before reacting.

• Let things go; it is hurting you more than the other person.

• I’ve got this.

From a lifetime of loving stories and honoring stories in business, let me tell you this: If you tell a story as an unfolding idea versus hammering an idea, you can reach more people, get wider distribution and even help someone relate to something they formerly judged. But first, we need to come from a place of understanding differences. May your life be fairer.